Monkey Fist Strikes

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By wallaceb
Kim: Signal strong, and annoying.
Ron: Don’t look down Rufus.
Rufus: Ah!
Ron: You looked down! You looked down!
Kim: Getting closer. Where are you hiding? Well, there you are.
Ron: OK, this is a setback.
Kim: we’ll get that wing fixed up, you’re safe now. Ahhhhh! Hi!
Ranger: You saved a life Kim Possible.
Kim: It’s what I do, you know, the help thing.
Ron: I’m the sidekick.
Kim: What up Wa…Dad?!
Mr. Dr P: Kimmie, do you know what night it is?
Kim: Um…it’s still day here
Mr. Dr P: Well, it’s family game night in Middleton, and we’re missing a game.
Kim: My bad. It was an emergency.
Mr. Dr P: Your cousin Larry will be so disappointed.
Kim: I saved a baby eagle.
Ranger: You should be very proud of your daughter here sir.
Mr. Dr P: Oh, she’s a pip alright. Well, I’ll break the bad news to Larry.
Kim: Tell him I feel terrible dad.
Mr. Dr P: I know you do hun, bye now.
Kim: Yes! Close one cus, but not this time.
Ranger: Cousin a loser?
Kim: He’s totally creepy.
Ron: Wow! Cousin Larry again?
Rufus: Wow, Larry.
Ron: You’ve been complaining about him since, forever. What’s so bad about Cousin Larry?
Kim: Do you have all night? It all stated when we were 3; Aunt June brought Cousin Larry over for a play date. Flash forward to family game night. Once a month Larry comes over, and I am stuck in freak Ville. And now, Larry drones on and on about these creepy conventions he goes to, in constume! And the video games, last month I learned…
Ron: Ow!
Kim: ...everything I ever wanted to know about that stupid Fortress game.
Ron: Fortress?! The other night I spent 6 hours battling the hill top fortress with nothin’ but a joy stick and a will that could not e denied,
Kim: And to think that’s time you actually you might have other wise wasted.
Wade: Kim, Ron.
Ron: Hey Wade.
Kim and Ron: Wade?!
Ron: Live?
Kim: In person?
Ron: High Five! Ahh! Wade’s a ghost! Wade’s a ghost!
Wade: Ron! I am not a ghost.
Ron: Don’t play me specter.
Kim: Hologram?
Wade: Precisely.
Ron: You almost fooled me, almost.
Wade: The technology is incredible. You can literally be in two places at once. Eh, there are still a few bugs to work out. Any way, we got a hit on the site from a Lord Monty Fisk.
Kim: The archeologist?
Wade: How did you know?
Kim: I saw a documentary on the Knowing Channel.
Wade: He’s discovered the location of a rare artifact. But he needs your help to get it.
Kim: Cool! So, who do we know who can give a lift?
Ron: To Cambodia?
Kim: Thanks fir the lift Cornel.
Cornel: Well after the way you tipped us off to that assault Miss Possible, it’s an honor and a privilege.
Ron: Anybody got gum? Nice place KP, come for the humidity, stay for the leaches. Huh?
Kim: A monkey temple.
Ron: M-m-m-m-m-m-monkey!
Kim: Oh no!
Monty Fisk: Kim Possible I presume? I’m Lord Monty Fisk. This is my vale Bates.
Kim: This is my friend Ron.
Bates: Your friend seems rather troubled.
Monty Fisk: Quite.
Kim: Um. Yea, well see it all goes back to Ron’s first summer at Camp Wannaweep. He had to bunk with the camp mascot, Bobo the Chimp.
Bobo: (screams)
Ron: Ahh! That was one crazy monkey.
Monty Fisk: You do know of course that chimpanzees are actually part of the ape family; they’re not monkeys at all.
Ron: Monkeys, apes, they all hold things with their feet man! We’re talking about freaks of nature.
Kim: Ron! Could you get a grip?
Ron: Mark my words Kim, his lord ship is 500 miles of bad road.
Kim: Ron, Lord Monty Fisk is a world famous explorer and highly respected scholar.
Ron: Bad road! Ah, Monty old chap...
Monty Fisk: I believe I will direct all further communication to Miss Possible, directly. According to this map, the jade statue is here.
Ron: What’s the statue of?
Monty Fisk: A monkey.
Kim: What’s that?
Monty Fisk: The locals believe that placing this icon in precise alignment with three others would generate a mystical monkey power…utter non-sense of course.
Kim: Come on!
Ron: May be there’s a back way in?
Kim: Honestly Ron, there is nothing to be afraid of. Yha!
Ron: Kim!
Kim: Whoaaaa! Oof! OK. At least the walls aren’t…..moving? I feel so welcome here. Gotta find that jade monkey and get out. Wow! Once again cheerleading has saved my life. Spikes, gee, where are the snakes? I was just being sarcastic! Ahhhh! The lade monkey. Wow!
Ron: Kim!
Kim: Huh?
Ron: What happened?
Monty Fisk: Kim Possible, I shall see to it that the National Museum celebrates your heroic efforts.
Kim: It was no big.
Ron: I’m telling you Kim, he’s bad road I feel it.
Kim: He has a royal title.
Ron: Which you can buy on the internet.
Kim: Go to sleep.
Ron: What...There’s a monkey in the camp, a live one.
Kim: You’re obsessed, sleep!
Ron: Getting closer. The Monkey! Ah, it’s just a hooded ninja.
Kim: He’s got the statue! Ron, catch!
Ron: Don’t worry Kim, I’ve got the monkey. I got the monkey! Hey?!
Kim: Oh no! He’s gone, and the statue’s gone with him.
Monty Fisk: What’s all this then?
Kim: Someone stole the jade monkey.
Monty Fisk: How shockingly afoul.
Bates: Yes, afoully shocking my lord.
Monty Fisk: Word of our discovery must have gotten out. Oh rot! If only your bravery was not wasted.
Mr. Dr P: Morning Honey. How’d Cambodia go?
Kim: Mixed. The good part, I saved a priceless icon from a ferociously snaky spiky pit, less good, a ninja stole it.
Mr. Dr P: Oh, isn’t just like those darn ninjas? Well, this aughta flip that frown upside down, Cousin Larry felt so bad missing you for family game night, and Aunt June invited us all over for dinner Saturday.
Kim: Oh, I wouldn’t want to…impose.
Mr. Dr P: Not at all, June says Larry never has friends over.
Jim: Maybe because he’s the dweebiest guy on the planet?
Mr. Dr P: Jim, don’t mock family.
Tim: Maybe he’s not even of this world, maybe he come from some far off planet of dweebs.
Mr. Dr P: Take a lesson from your sister boys, Larry might not look like the coolest kid around, but Kim knows you can’t judge a book by its cover. Right honey?
Kim: Huh? Hmmm. Saturday is going to be night of the living Larry.
Ron: You know, I gotta tell ya, this Larry, he sounds like a Marjory fun guy.
Rufus: Marjory Fun.
Kim: Want me to send him to your house? Go Wade.
Wade: Kim, I dug up some info on that jade monkey.
Ron: La, la, la, la monkey stuff, get it monkey stuff. La, la, la.
Kim: Please continue Wade.
Wade: The temple was one of four built by the followers of monkey kung fu. Each temple had a jade monkey.
Kim: Back up…what is monkey kung fu?
Ron: other than sick and wrong?
Wade: according to legend, when the four jade monkeys were brought together, they gave the worrier mystical monkey power.
Kim: It’s the same drawing we saw at the dig. But why separate the monkeys?
Ron: Because mystical monkey power is sick and wrong!
Wade: actually, the legend says that the worriers didn’t want anyone else to get the power.
Kim: Maybe the thief believed the legend?
Monty Fisk: Bates! Bates!
Bates: Coming my lord. You know my lord, I wonder if it might have been a mistake to call in Kim Possible?
Monty Fisk: Non-sense, the plan worked perfectly. She retrieved the item didn’t she?
Bates: My lord could have handled those primitive booby-traps.
Monty Fisk: And risk injuring, these hands?! Besides, by masquerading as the ninja, I threw suspicion off me.
Bates: You know best, of course my lord.
Monty Fisk: And now destiny awaits. For at last, I have all four monkeys. Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
Bates: Stunning in its monkeyosity.
Monty Fisk: It is magnificent. And now, mystical monkey power shall be mine!
Bates: you mean that figuratively of course….my lord?
Monty Fisk: What’s that Bates?
Bates: Well, to truly believe that old myth would be crazy heh?
Monty Fisk: Crazy you say? Like it was crazy to spend the family fortune radical genetic mutation, and dangerous experimental surgery? Like it was crazy to become a man-monkey? Who violates every law of nature and science?! It’s a touch unconventional. Now, but the magic monkey in place.
Wade: The leading expert on all things simian is Lord Monty Fisk.
Kim: we helped him, He’ll help us. We’ll go talk to him this weekend.
Ron: Oh, that would be a fun conversation, monkey this, monkey that, monkey, monkey, monkey.
Kim: Ron, look> Oh! Saturday, just remembered my diner with Larry.
Wade: Can’t you flake?
Kim: No, all flaking options denied.
Kim’s #2: Can I make a suggestion? Send me.
Ron: Oh no, which one’s the real Kim?
Kim: What do you think?
Ron: Oh sure make fun, but when holographic duplicates start running around, you can’t be too careful.
Wade: Think about it Kim, my holographic simulator is ready for a field test.
Kim #2: Really Larry? That’s very interesting Larry. Nice costume Larry.
Kim: It rocks Wade, but I can’t do the virtual flake, I promised dad. It is very tempting though.
Ron: So what made you decide to do the virtual flake after all?
Kim: Wade really wanted to test out the hollow Kim.
Ron: Are we going to ring the door bell? Knock? Something?
Kim: Er, yea, doorbell.
Bates: Kim Possible?!
Kim: Nice to meet you again Bates, we just have a few questions for Lord Monty Fisk.
Bates: I shall announce your presence.
Larry: Greetings Kim, I am Oalthar. Maybe you recognize me from Return to Ios.
Kim: Hello Larry.
Larry: I do not know this Larry of whom you speak. I am Oalthar. You really don’t get into the spirit of role playing do you cousin? As you can see, Ios collection has grown quite impressively, since your last visit. Notice anything amiss?
Kim: Hmm-Hm.
Larry: Ah, it’s a Barnacles Senator with a silver cape, huh, rather dramatic error on the part of the manufacture, given that the Senators wore only purple.
Kim: Really Larry, isn’t that fascinating.
Larry: Can I interest you in a game of Fortress? I can cheat code us right to level 9.
Ron: Monkeys. Wait up!
Monty Fisk: Kim Possible, and your monkey phobic friend. How delightful.
Kim: Sorry to bother you Lord Fisk, but wanted to ask you some questions about…
Monty Fisk: So, you know all about it? About my obsession with Ti-Shing-Pec-Whar?
Ron: Say again?
Monty Fisk: Oh, playing stupid I see. Ti-Shing-Pec-Whar? Monkey king fu!
Ron: Is it just me, or is walking funny?
Monty Fisk: But did you know that I spent the family fortune to get these? And these?!
Ron: Bad road, bad road, bad road!
Monty Fisk: Bow to my power. I am Monkey Fist!
Rufus: Bye-bye.
Monty Fisk: So, now you know my secret, which you will take to your graves.
Ron: How can you be so sure? I mean a lot can happen in the next 60 or 70 years. Oh, gotcha.
Monty Fisk: She is good.
Ron: You’re the hollow Kim?!
Monty Fisk: What! Then where is the real Kim Possible?
Kim: Hmm.
Larry: Is that real time streaming video?
Kim: yea, a Knowing Channel documentary. I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.
Larry: Oh con tare. Long have I followed the career of Lord Monty Fisk. A little known fact, he is a master of Ti-Shing-Pec-Whar.
Kim: What?
Larry: Monkey king fu?
Kim: Monkey kung Fu? He was the ninja.
Larry: Oh, can you play games with this?
Kim: Ron was right, he is bad road.
Larry: Hello, awaite, do you read me?
Kim: Give me that.
Monkey Fist: So monkey hater, we meet again. Serenity chime, time to center.
Bates: Monkey kung fu is half mental.
Ron: Completely mental I this case.
Monkey Fist: Now then. Where were we?
Bates: He’s escaped my lord
Monkey Fist: After Him!
Kim: Wade, Lord Monty Fisk stole that icon, I think he believes in mystical monkey power.
Wade: It’s worse. He has the power, and now he called himself Monkey Fist.
Kim: And you know that how?
Wade: Ron is in his house right now.
Kim: why did he go there alone?
Wade: He didn’t exactly; you’re with him, sort of.
Kim: The hollow Kim? Ron!
Ron: Kim, tell me you’re real?
Kim: I wish, Wade got carried away with his new gimmick.
Ron: Dead end! Oh man!
Kim: There’s a window.
Ron: Give me a boost.
Kim: Huh, Ron, I’m not really here you know.
Ron: Right. This will work.
Monkey Fist: You can’t leave now. Monkey.
Ron: Ahhhh!
Kim: I don’t know what to do. If I were there, I could help him but.
Larry: Give it to me. I have an idea.
Kim: This isn’t one of your stupid science fiction games Larry. Ron’s facing a kung fu mutant with bioengineered hands and mystical monkey powers and…
Ron: Who are you?
Larry: Kim’s Cousin Larry, but that’s not important.
Monkey Fist: I will no longer be distracted by hollow grams. Prepare for pain.
Larry: Remember level 9 of Fortress? To defeat the Cloud Guardian, you must drink from his enchanted well.
Kim: That’s supposed to help?
Larry: It’s a geek thing.
Ron’s Voice: I must become that which I fear most.
Ron: Hey monkeys! Hit me! Oh yea! I’m fellin’ it!
Rufus: woo!
Monkey Fist: No! Mystical monkey power is reserved for me and me alone.
Ron: I must disagree. Oo-oo-oo husha!
Bates: Away with you, you vile rodent!
Rufus: Ha!
Bates: Oh! Ah! Oof! Ah pain!
Monkey Fist: Mystical monkey power or not, you have no chance against a master of monkey kung fu.
Ron: That’s why I’m pullin’ the plug. Rufus, search and destroy!
Monkey Fist: No! You’ll ruin everything! That’s quite enough. Stop it this very instant! I insist! I saved... I saved them all. Mystical monkey power will still be mine!
Ron: Monkey this you hairy freak!
Larry: And the rebellion on Barnacles was given such a passing mention in the film, I wrote my own story about the battle. You can imagine the debates that raged when I posted it on the fan site Kim.
Kim: Really Larry?
Larry: I’m not boring you am I?
Ron: No, no, no, go on please this is fascinating stuff.
Larry: Hay, wanna see outtakes from Moom Beyond Ios?
Ron: The deleted footage of the shrieker race?
Larry: Got it at the 99 Tulsa Convention.
Ron: Score!
Kim: Your guys are the greatest. When the chips were down you both came through. I’m really proud.
Ron: So you gonna watch with us?
Kim: No even a chance. Later guys.
Ron: What, this is cool stuff Kim! Kim?



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