Oh Boyz Transcript

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By wallaceb
Jim: Steel Toe is taking you down.
Tim: Uh-oh, Pain King is going to cannonball! Steel Toe Propeller!
Tweebs: Ooh.
Ron: It's coming! There's no way to stop it!
Jim: Alien attack?
Ron: Worse.
Tim: Mondo-morphing melt monsters?
Ron: Worse. But that does sound pretty cool.
Jim: Ron, do you know...
Tim: GWA is on?
Ron: Not for long. They're coming!
Tweebs: What's coming?
Ron: Crazed boy band fans!
**Tweebs and Rufus:**Ahhh!
Jim: The remote!
Ron: He who controls the remote controls the future.
Tweebs: We're going in.
Kim: No way, Tweebs!
TV: The hottest band on the planet: Robby, Ryan, Dexter and Nicky Nick... the Oh Boyz!
Girls: Oh, my God!
Ron: Correction; She who controls the remote controls the future.
SSS: I think you will be most pleased, my son. This will be your best birthday present ever.
SSJ: Oh, father, I'm so... confused. What is all this?
SSS: Go on. Try one.
SSJ: If you insist.
SSS: Ah, the devastation ray. Wonderful choice.
SSJ: That's cute, father, but I think I'm too big to play with toys now, don't you?
SSS: These are not mere playthings, Junior.
SSJ: Father, is that my Honolulu Kyle?
SSS: Observe. The sub-harmonic cannon.
SSJ: Kyle!
SSS: I thought you just said you were too old for toys.
SSJ: Kyle isn't a toy! He's an action figure!
SSS: What action?
SSJ: He dances the bumpa hula.
SSS: Junior, these models are so you can decide which doomsday device you want for your birthday.
SSJ: But father, I don't want a doomsday anything for my birthday. I only want for my dream to come true.
SSS: Your dream?um? to take over the world in some terribly evil way?
SSJ: No, father. That is your dream. My dream is to become an international pop sensation.
SSS: Very well. As a powerful billionaire, this should be easy to accomplish. But why do something the easy way when you can do it the evil way?
Monique: When are they going to do Hello, Hello, Hello? The waiting is killing me.
Tara: Oh, I think Robby is the cutest creature on Earth.
Kim: I love Dex. You know, for his brains.
Monique: Uh-huh, that's not his brains he's shaking there, girl.
Mrs. Dr P: I heard screaming. What's going on? Ooh! A concert! Now this brings back fun memories. Back in my day, it was...
Kim: Mom. Please.
Mrs. Dr P: Well, it doesn't matter who it was. It was just like this.
Kim: There was never anyone like the Oh Boyz!
Mrs. Dr P: Okay, note to self. The Oh Boyz are hot.
Tara: For now and forever.
Mrs. Dr P: You'll never guess what I got today.
Kim: Tell me.
Mrs. Dr P: Guess.
Kim: No. Tell me.
Mrs. Dr P: No, you have to guess.
Kim: Hmm.
Mrs. Dr P: Tickets to the Oh Boyz show!
Kim: Um, uh, Mom...
Mrs. Dr P: What? What's wrong?
Kim: Well, never mind.
Mrs. Dr P: What, tell me?
Kim: Uh, guess.
Mrs. Dr P: Kimberly Ann...
Kim: Okay. The Oh Boyz are over. Stick a fork in them. Done.
Mrs. Dr P: Really? But I thought they were the hottest band in the land.
Kim: Last week. Nobody would be caught listening to them anymore.
Ron: The Oh Boyz rock my world! Oh Boyz ticks! KP! This is awesome!
Kim: Do we have the right night?
Ron: You know, I expected more people.
Kim: I expected some people.
Roland: Benny, we have more caterers than fans.
Benny: Roland, do you know how much money the record company is losing on this tour?
Roland: No, but as the accountant, I'm sure you'll tell me.
Benny: My advice is to cancel and cut your losses.
Roland: The boys have lawyers. No cancellation clause.
Benny: Ooh, right the contract.
Roland: Look at this. Artists shall have four mugs of hot cocoa flown fresh from Belgium exactly one hour before every performance. I hate my life.
Oh Boyz: Roland! Is that cocoa here yet?
Ron: I am furiously psyched.
Kim: It doesn't bother you that you're into a band that is so over?
Ron: They're not over for me. They rock.
Kim: I used to think so too, but I mean, come on, Ron. Look around. Nobody is into them anymore.
Ron: Kim, who cares about everybody else? Ron Stoppable does not follow trends, he sets trends. Ooh. Maybe I can get them to autograph Rufus. Be back in a few, KP.
Kim: Oh, I'll be right here. Hoping no one sees me.
Ron: Just wait, Rufus. I'm going to show the Oh Boyz how I've learned all their dance steps. They probably love it when fans dance for them.
Rufus: Yeah! Hey!
Ron: Wow, you've be practicing.
Dexter: Roland!
Rufus: Whoa!
Dexter: I refuse to eat that! They forgot the pickles.
Roland: Okay, Dexter. I'll deal with it.
Ron: Wowie-wow. It's really him. It's Dexter.
Rufus: Incoming.
Ryan: Roland, this is all your fault, yo! There were pickles all over my plate.
Roland: Ryan, maybe you had Dexter's plate. Have you considered that?
Ryan: I did not have Dexter's plate. You think I don't know my own plate?
Robby: Roland. Do you want us to tell the record company that you're not taking care of us? Look what you've done.
Roland: What? What?
Robby: This. Look. It says my zodiac sign is Pisces.
Roland: Well, you were born on March 16.
Robby: Pisces, it's fish.
Roland: So?
Robby: I hate fish!
Roland: I'll see what I can do.
Ron: You're Nicky Nick, right?
Nicky Nick: Who are you?
Ron: Ron. I'm a bon-diggity dancer.
Nicky Nick: Fan boy, keep studying.
Ron: Wait, you've got to see this.
Announcer: Give it up for your Oh Boyz! Robby, Ryan, Dexter, Nicky Nick and... who's that guy?
Nicky Nick: I told you to get lost!
Kim: Oh!
Oh Boyz: Roland!
Ron: Man, you guys know how to rock! What do you do for a finale?
Hobble: And you are?
Roland: Roland Pond, Defteen Records.
Hobble: Can you tell me what happened?
Roland: It all happened so fast.
Kim: I can help, Officer Hobble. The criminals had a state-of-the-art operation.
Hobble: Kim Possible. You've got nothing to worry about, sir.
Roland: Really?
Hobble: With Kim Possible on the case, your Oh Boyz will be back in no time.
Kim: That's right. I'd help no matter what, but they got my best friend, too. This is way personal.
SSJ: It is hopeless. My dream will never come true.
SSS: Junior, your dream will soon be a reality.
SSJ: Oh, look! Dexter, the smart one. Ryan, the youngest one. Robby, the cute one. Nicky Nick, the funny one. And...
Ron: Uh-oh.
SSJ: I don't know this one, and yet he rings a bell in me.
Nicky Nick: What? He's not one of...
Ron: The new Oh Boy. The other one.
SSJ: Yes, I remember him now.
SSS: He's obviously carrying the others.
Roland: Oh It looks like we have no choice but to cancel tomorrow's opening gig. What's the dollar damage, Benny?
Benny: Well, not so damaging.
Roland: Really?
Benny: Yeah. We were losing money on shows when nobody showed up.
Roland: The Oh Boyz showed up.
Benny: Exactly. And we had to pay them, their bodyguards, their hair stylists, their aura cleansers. Oh, boy.
Roland: Right. So we don't lose any money anymore. This is a good thing.
Kim: What's a good thing?
Roland: That we have you to help us.
Kim: Have there been any demands?
Roland: Not since the Oh Boyz were taken.
Kim: I meant from whoever captured them.
Roland: Er no, nothing yet, but I'll keep you on speed dial.
Kim: But I never gave you my digits.
Roland: OK. Must've been some other teen who means well. What was the number again?
SSS: If the record company wishes to have their precious Oh Boyz back, they will bow to my demand.
SSJ: What is your demand, father?
SSS: That they make you an international pop sensation.
SSJ: Call them now! Please, please, please! please, please!
SSS: As you wish, my boy.
Ron: We're in trouble. Nobody is going to give Junior a record deal.
Nicky Nick: We have nothing to worry about. Roland will give these jokers anything to get us back.
Roland: A day without the Oh Boyz is like a day where I don't lose money. No more whining pop rats. Life is sweet.
SSS: Please listen closely if you want to see the Oh Boyz again.
Roland: Look, sorry, I got to hop off. Call my office, we'll set a thing. Bye now.
SSS: Was I not clear in my demands?
Kim: What I don't get is why would anybody take them? Everyone knows that they're over except Ron.
Wade: That's the weird part, Kim. They were over.
Kim: Say what?
Wade: The Oh Boyz are all over the news. They haven't gotten this much attention since Nicky Nick broke up with Britina. Let me stream you a video.
TV Guy: The Oh Boyz; When the Pop Stopped. The Oh Boyz not so long ago, they were the hottest band in the world, with such number one hits as Hello, Hello, Hello.
Oh Boyz:
I'm going through a tunnel
Stuck in a canyon
In an elevator
Do you even listen?
No, no, no, no
No, no, no, no
Hello, hello, hello
Can you hear me now?
Or am I losing you
Got to reconnect somehow
'Cause I can't hear you
Hello, hello, hello
TV Guy: And, of course, I Want It My Way.
Oh Boyz:
When you go get on the road
The answer is no, no, no
No, no, no, no
And when you say hit the highway
You know that I gotta stay
It's not that I love you, baby
I just want it my way
'Cause I want it my way,
I like it my way
It's my way or the highway
Yes, I want it my way,
I like it my way
It's my way or the highway
If that makes me selfish as you have accused
Let me just say this:
I don't like to lose
'Cause I want it my way,
I like it my way...
TV Guy: But lately the hits have turned to misses. Their concerts opened to empty arenas. The fans had moved on. It seems like only yesterday they were yesterday's news. I mean, they were yesterday's news the day before yesterday. No. Wait. Yeah, that's it. When did they mysteriously vanish?
TV crew: Yesterday!
TV Guy: So they were yesterday's news until yesterday. OK, you know what? Forget it. Since the Oh Boyz concert disappearance, something amazing has happened.
Roland: I won't be needing you. Whoever told them they could carry a tune? Oh, yeah. Me... What?
TV Guy: The Oh Boyz are hotter than ever now. Their CDs are selling out worldwide.
Roland: Selling out? My two favorite words. This is a double deuce. All of the money with none of the Oh Boyz.
Roland: Go.
SSJ: Mr. Oh Boyz Record Company man? I think you misunderstood my father. If you and your peeps do not cooperate the Oh Boyz will continue to be missing.
Roland: Stay missing? Give me a minute to compose my thoughts. Let me get back to you.
SSJ: How can he get back to me? I did not give him my number.
Robby: We're on our own.
Ryan: Yo, we don't even know how to be on our own.
Nicky Nick: Who will get us our cocoa?
Ron: Don't worry, guys. You've got me on your side.
Dexter: We're doomed.
Ron: Okay, fine. You've got him.
Roland: Life with out the Oh Boyz... is heartbreaking.
Kim: You seem real upset.
Roland: Miss Possible, the Oh Boyz are like sons to me. But what can I do? Sorry, gotta take this. Yo. Go baby.
SSJ: We are not your baby!
SSS: Junior, give me the phone.
Roland: Must be a wrong number.
Kim: Don't think so. And I hate to tell you, but I definitely know those voices.
Roland: You do?
SSS: A bad idea.
SSJ: We'll give you another chance.
SSS: Junior, please let me talk.
SSJ: Father, I'm speaking.
SSS: I have exp...
SSJ: It's my turn.
SSS: Son...
SSJ: Father!
Kim: Oh, yeah. I've got everything I need.
Roland: You mean?
Kim: That's right. I know where to find Ron and the Oh Boyz.
Robby: I can't believe our fates are in the hands of a rat and that contraption.
Ron: That's a naked mole rat to you, and that contraption is going to get out of here.
Robby: Right, so you know what it is?
Ron: Of course... No idea.
Dexter: Wait! Clever. It fires the disc player's laser in a tightly focused mini beam to deactivate the lock.
Ron: Dexter, the smart one. It's not just hype. ...That is what it does, right?
Rufus: Duh!
Host: We're back with Man Overboard. Well, gentlemen, the views have voted. How do you feel, Brad?
Brad: Hope it isn't me, I guess.
Host: Oh, too bad. Brad, you've been voted off the boat and you are going overboard!
Host: It's up to you, Christy. You want to throw him a lifeline?
Kim: This has to be the most heinous show ever.
Judd: You should have seen the last one I worked on; Truth or Volcano.
Kim: Anyway, thanks for the lift, Judd.
Judd: Are you kidding, Kim? It's the least I could do after you rescued me from that rhino stampede.
Kim: Oh, that was no big. What was that show called again?
Judd: Teasing Wild Animals.
Brad: Come on, Christy! Throw it!
SSJ: Yes! Every international pop sensation needs a sensational autograph. Hmm.
Host: We're back with Man Overboard.
SSJ: What? Ah! My favorite reality show. It can't be. Father! Father! Kim Possible is coming to foil my birthday present!
SSS: Ah, excellent. I relish the challenge.
Kim: So far so good.
SSS: Welcome, Kim Possible. It's so nice you could drop by.
Kim: Whoa!
SSS: Miss Possible, I have gone to a great deal of trouble to mutate an octopus.
Kim: You've got the most whacked hobbies.
SSS: I have been dreaming of watching you do battle with him.
Kim: Well, keep dreaming.
SSS: I would appreciate it very much if you would continue your fall now.
Kim: Thanks, but no thanks.
SSS: Ah, I am loathe to force the issue, but...
Kim: Ahhh!
Ron and Rufus: Boo ya! Let's hit it, guys!
Nicky Nick: I'm first. I'm the leader.
Ryan: I'm older!
Robby: I'm cuter!
Dexter: I'm smarter!
Nicky Nick: I thought of it first.
Ron: Hey, this is no way for troubadours of love to behave.
Ron: Hmm. Self-activating, motion-sensitive laser cannons. Those bad boys are no joke.
Nicky Nick: In that case, you first.
Dexter: Me? You're the one that can't sing.
Robby: You've always been the weakling.
Nicky Nick: Your dancing totally tanks.
Kim: Wade, got a serious 911 on my hands.
Wade: Talk to me.
Kim: The recipe for my current disaster. Start with a nasty deep pit. Add me. Stir in one killer octopus.
Wade: Are we talking regular octopus or mutant?
Kim: Definitely mutant.
SSS: What a beautiful sight. Junior, you do not want to miss this.
SSJ: Not now, father. I'm working on my R's.
Ron: Hmm. Hmm. Chill, guys. I know how to handle this.
Robby: You do?
Ron: Yep, We close our eyes and run all together. I figure only half of us will get fried.
Ryan: Which half?
Nicky Nick: My guess is the left.
Ron: Anyone have a better idea?
Dexter: As a matter of fact...
Nicky Nick: On my count, Quit Playing Games With My Head.
Oh Boyz:
Let's not analyze what I said
I don't wanna be a complex boy
I can't tell if you're serious
when you are so delirious
Are you done playing me, baby?
Is that a yes, no or maybe?
Quit playing games with my head
I'm a sport, but I'm not a toy
Let's not analyze what I said...
Wade: Kim! Can you hear me? Listen, when octopi are mutated, certain traits get amplified. Including responsive nerve endings.
Kim: Wade, short version please.
Wade: He's ticklish.
Kim: Ticklish? You've got to be kidding.
Wade: Under the armpits.
Kim: All eight of them?
Oh Boyz:
I don't want to be a complex boy
Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy.
Ryan: Check us out.
Ron: You guys are just like regular guy-guys now.
Dexter: You're right. We actually just did something for ourselves.
Ron: Feels good, doesn't it?
Robby: Hmm feels weird.
Ryan: But in a good way, I guess.
Ron: Now, we thwart the bad guy. Wait until you see how good that feels.
Rufus: Charge!
Kim: Cootchie-coo.
SSS: How can this be? Kim Possible has tickled my mutant octopus into submission.
SSJ: It's worse than that, Father. My ticket to stardom is gone!
Kim: Hiya!
Nicky Nick: Who's that?
Ron: Kim Possible. Teen hero. Cheerleader.
Robby: Hi.
Kim: Wow. You are the cutest one.
Ryan: Did Roland send you?
Kim: Oh, yeah. He was very worried about you.
Dexter: Why'd he hang up on the ransom calls?
Kim: Um, about that...
SSS: Enough. You are all testing my patience. Now you will test my latest toy.
SSJ: I thought you said it wasn't a toy, Father.
SSS: It's an expression.
SSJ: That is a good look on you. You can be my opening act.
SSS: That was just the low setting. Now let's see who's hot on the charts.
SSJ: Ahh! Father!
SSS: Junior, are you all right?
SSJ: Do I look tanner now? Because the pain may be worth it.
SSS: Come, Junior. We will fight another day.
SSJ: But, Father, how will I become a super pop star now?
Bonnie: Are Robby's eyes really the color of the sea?
Monique: Is Ryan's favorite food pizza?
Tara: Did you get Dexter's E-mail address?
Girl: Does Nicky Nick have a new girlfriend yet?
Ron: One at a time, ladies. One at a time. All questions will be answered. All mysteries solved.
Monique: When, Ron?
Ron: As soon as I get a refill.
Bonnie: I'll get it.
Tara: No, me.
Girl: He asked me.
Kim: Enjoying yourself?
Ron: Like I said, Kim, I don't follow trends, I start them. Besides, who knows how long the Oh Boyz will be hot this time? I'm working it.
Kim: Yeah, I see that. I hope they at least did something about that record company weasel.
Roland: Whoa! Hey, boys. You're back. You don't know how I missed you.
Robby: No, I think we do, Roland.
Dexter: That's why...
Ryan: ...we've asked the boys upstairs...
Nicky Nick: ...to fire you.
Roland: You're joking. Who could possibly take my place?
Quit playing games with my head
I'm a sport, but I'm not a toy
Let's not analyze what I said
I don't want to be a complex boy
I can't tell if you're serious
When you are so delirious
Are you just playing me, baby
Is that a yes, no or maybe?
Quit playing games with my head
I'm a sport, but I'm not a toy
Let's not analyze what I said
I don't want to be a complex boy,
boy, boy, boy, boy
Boy, boy, boy, boy.


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