Steal Wheels Transcript

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By wallaceb
Kim: Hey, Ron.
Ron: Oh hey, Kim.
Kim: I'm so ready for Friday night. What's the plan?
Ron: Um, actually, I...
Kim: Anything but Bueno Nacho. We go there every Friday. This week, let's nix it. Hey, what's that movie you wanna see? About the guy, you know, with the fingers?
Ron: You mean The Finger Guy?
Kim: That's the one.
Ron: KP, I sort of made plans already.
Kim: Plans? On a Friday? You?
Ron: Well, Felix and I are all set for a fun diggity night of zombie mayhem.
Kim: You'd rather spend Friday night mindlessly slaughtering video zombies than with me?
Ron: It's for charity.
Kim: Explain.
Ron: Zombalooza is coming. We gotta practice up! 24-hours of non-stop gaming to raise money for research.
Kim: Research what?
Ron: Repetitive stress injuries.
Kim: Right.
Ron: With my new wireless game control, it's gonna be sweet!
Kim: No big. I've got plenty of Friday night options.
Ron: Oh, well, I-I mean, you can come with.
Kim: No thanks. Video games? Not my thing.
Ron: You sure you're OK with this?
Kim: So not the drama. I mean, it's not like Friday night's my official Ron night, right?
Ron: All right. Coolness. Later, KP.
Mrs. Dr P: Kimmie, you're still home? I thought Friday nights were your Ron night.
Kim: Not officially.
Drakken: Behold the genius of my latest diabolical creation. The ultimate off-road destruction vehicle, the Doom-V!
Shego: It looks more like the Dumb-V.
Drakken: It is a work in progress! Aah! Shego!
Shego: Glad I'm not you. Door?
Drakken: Activate security measures!
Shego: Probably one of those pixie girls pushing their cookies.
Drakken: This time, we're ready. Oh, no! We've got to hide!
Ms. Lipsky: Surprise!
Shego: Mama Lipsky?
Ms. Lipsky: Where's my little Drewby? Is that any way to greet your mother? Come, honey. Give your mama a great big hug.
Drakken: Mother, I... Ungh!
Ms. Lipsky: So, we you going to leave me out there knocking all day?
Drakken: Mother, I'm just busy with my, uh, r-radio show.
Shego: Oh, that's right. Your mama thinks you're a radio talk-show doctor.
Drakken: And not an evil megalomaniac.
Ms. Lipsky: Why would I think that of my little Drewby? Anyway, we have a problem in the Lipsky family. It's your cousin Eddie.
Drakken: Eddie?
Shego: Who's Eddie?
Drakken: The family black sheep.
Shego: Ok, now you're scaring me.
Drakken: Shush. What about Eddie, mother?
Ms. Lipsky: He's here. Eddie!
Ed: Whoo! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Motor Ed is in the building. Seriously, dude. I'm right here.
Drakken: But, mother, I'm very busy!
Ms. Lipsky: Eddie needs a positive role model. He's had some trouble with the law.
Shego: Positive role model? Ha!
Ms. Lipsky: You remember your cousin Drew.
Ed: Drew? Dude, you're so blue! You need to catch some rays.
Ms. Lipsky: Now, Drewby, honey. Mamas gotta catch the bingo bus. Now, you take good care of your cousin Eddie. You will, won't ya?
Drakken: Oh, I'll take care of him.
Ed: Green babe! Heh heh! So, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk
by again? Ha! 'cause I'll totally walk by again if I have to. Seriously.
Shego: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, walk and keep walking.
Ed: Aah! Man, do I dig a woman who can scrap! I think I'm in love! Ha! Yeah!
Ron: No. No, no. No! No! No, no, no!
Felix: Ha! Who's the zombie man now?
Ron: Stupid wireless. I said kick-jump, but it went kick-jump-spin.
Felix: Always the controller's fault, isn't it? Pizza?
Rufus: Yummy!
Ron: Maybe it'd help if I just switch it to a different frequency. There we go. Jump. Jump.
Felix: Ron? Ron, man?
Ron: Spin. Kick. Kick.
Felix: Ron? Uh, Ron?
Ron: Hey, now the game's not responding at all.
Felix: Ron, man, I think we crossed frequencies.
Ron: Oh. Ha ha ha! Sorry.
Felix: It's cool. So what's the story with Kim? Is she coming over?
Ron: No, KP's not into the video-gameage, but I'm sure she has big plans for kicking off her weekend.
Monique: Sorry, Kim. I have O.T. at club banana tonight. Did you try Tara?
Kim: Date.
Monique: Hope?
Kim: Grounded.
Monique: Bonnie?
Kim: Get real.
Monique: You could hang with the family.
Kim: Parents are going out.
Monique: Baby-sitting?
Kim: Tweebs have a sleep-over.
Monique: I'm out of ideas, Kim.
Kim: I can handle some me time. Please, how pathetic do you think I am? I am so pathetic. I'm gonna have to make the call. Cousin Larry.
Larry?s Voice: Greetings, this is Larry.
Kim: Larry, how's my favorite cousin?
Larry?s Voice: I'm not in the castle right now; I'm with the other 10th level wizards battling a chaotic evil bog beast. Wait for the magical beep.
Kim: No! It's Friday night, and even my nerdy cousin has plans. This calls for extreme measures.
Bonnie: Kim, the game isn't until next Friday.
Kim: Right, and we'll be ready if we practice, practice, practice.
Bonnie: This is so lame. I can't believe you called us out here, and this is your big emergency.
Tara: Uh, we were on a date.
Hope: Grounded. Hello?
Kim: Ok, maybe it's not an emergency emergency. As long as everyone's here, how about frozen yogurt? Uh, my treat.
Bonnie: Have a life.
Ed: Nah. Hmm. Nah. Aw. Dude!
Drakken: What?! What is it?
Ed: Your ride's totally bogus. Charred injectors, lame cooling system. She'll blow the second you start her up. Seriously.
Drakken: Yeah? We'll see about that!
Ed: Don't wanna say I told you so, but, dude, seriously. Ha! So! Look, just reroute the coolant line, cap the plugs. Check it! Is that a beautiful noise or what? Seriously, man! Ha!
Drakken: Ok, here's the deal. I'm the evil genius, and you're the mechanical genius.
Ed: Sweet! Dude, I say we ferociously trick this baby out! Seriously.
Drakken: You hear that, Shego? We're tricking out the Doom-V.
Shego: Uh-huh. Bonding. Cute.
Ed: Ha! All right, first things first. We need to go get some tools that aren't so bogus.
Drakken: I don't see what's so special about these tools.
Ed: Dude, planet tool has the most awesome tool kits on the planet. In fact, I don't know why they just don't name it...
Drakken: Planet tool?
Ed: Ha ha ha! That is so awesome! 'Cause that's its name. Seriously.
Kim: Go, Wade.
Wade: I just got word that there's been a break-in at planet tool.
Ed: Whoa. Here it is, dude. The supernova of all kits. The total auto body experience. Seriously.
Drakken: Must you say seriously all the time?
Ed: Seriously?
Drakken: Seriously.
Ed: Yeah, I do. Seriously.
Kim: Motor Ed.
Ed: Red!
Drakken: Red?!
Kim: Drakken?
Drakken: Kim Possible!
Kim: How do my foes find each other?
Ed: We're related.
Kim: Seriously?
Ed and Drakken: Seriously.
Drakken: Don't you have anything better to do with your Friday nights?
Kim: Actually, no. Unh!
Ed: Later, red!
Kim: Worst... Friday... ever. Grrr.
Drakken: You're telling me that you know Kim Possible?
Shego: So much for boys' night out.
Ed: I could've handled her, too, if it weren't for her friend in the wheelchair.
Drakken: A wheelchair?
Ed: Dude, no. This chair is cyber-robotic. Majorly tricked out.
Drakken: But compared to the Doom-V, it's...
Ed: No, no. The Doom-V's, like. Niner, niner, niner. But this kid's chair is, like... The things it can do... Seriously.
Drakken: Seriously?
Shego: Oh, n-n-no. You're not gonna jack some kid's wheelchair?
Drakken: News flash, Shego. I'm a bad man.
Ron: Heard there was a little party at planet tool. Sorry to miss.
Kim: Oh, yeah. I painted the town red. You have a good time with Felix?
Ron: Two words. Boo-yah! We spent the whole weekend kicking zombie butt and taking zombie names!
Kim: I'm sure you'll tell me all about it at lunch.
Ron: No can do, KP. Me and the wheelman are gonna shoot some hoops. Good for the old hand-eye coordination. Zombapalooza tonight. Gotta stay frosty.
Kim: Gotta stay frosty! Oh.
Monique: So, jealous of Ron's N.B.F.?
Kim: N.B.F.?
Monique: New best friend.
Kim: D.B.S. don?t be silly. They just have a lot to do. Zombies don't bash themselves, you know.
Monique: Uh-huh. And Ron doesn't need your help bashing 'em either. It's OK to feel a little jealous.
Kim: Jealous? Please. Ron's not too busy for me; I'm too busy for Ron.
Monique: I don't know. It sounds like you're M.I.D. majorly in denial.
Kim: Right. Me in denial? So not.
Felix: Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Kid?s: Yahoo!
Kim: Ok, you're right. I'm so M.I.D.
Monique: T.M.E. Tell me everything.
Kim: Ron's having so much fun with Felix; I guess I feel lost in the shuffle.
Monique: I'm sure he doesn't even know your feelings are hurt. Why don't you just T.J.I?
Kim: T.J.I.? Um... can we drop the acronyms?
Monique: Try joining in.
Kim: Hey, guys!
Felix: Whoa, Kim. New look?
Kim: Well, you know, just something comfortable to hang in. Hey, who's up for some cage bats?
Felix: Cage what?!
Kim: You know. The place with the bats, the cage.
Ron: You mean the batting cages?
Kim: Yeah, yeah. That place.
Felix: Yeah, I could go for some swings.
Ron: Wait, I thought you said the batting cages were boring.
Kim: Boring? What could possibly be boring about cage bats? And then another pitch, another swing, another hit, and then another pitch... But fun! Oh, boy, was it fun!
Ron: Well, Felix sure was hittin' 'em out of the park today.
Felix: I had a stellar coach.
Kim: Hey, guys, watch this.
Felix: You ate all my nacos.
Kim: But I thought like today at lunch.
Ron: That was sub-edible cafeteria grub. These are nacos. Never to eaten in haste. Unless, you know, you're in a hurry.
Rufus: Mm-hmm. That's right.
Felix: Ooh! Hey, guys, we gotta go. Zombapalooza time. Kim, ya in?
Ron: Come on, it'll be fun.
Kim: Oh, yeah. The video game thing. Ok, I'll do it. Let's mash some mummies.
Ron and Felix: Zombies!
Ed: Whoa, dude! Watch how you're handling my baby.
Drakken: Your baby? I'm the evil genius who designed the Doom-V.
Ed: Yeah, and I'm the mechaniacal genius who brought it to life.
Drakken: Let go of the...
Ed: No, you let go!
Drakken: No, let go!
Shego: That's it! I'm driving.
Ed: Whoa. Dude, babes don't drive, dudes dive. Seriously. Man, I love that woman. She's got the green magic! Hey-yeah!
Felix: Must... bash... zombies.
Ron: Rufus, watch our back.
Rufus: Huh! Hyah! Wha!
Kim: Stupid controller.
Ron: It's simple, KP. Press "X" left twice, then "O" once, then the right option button to kick.
Kim: There's an option button? Hey, I did it. I just went up 2 levels. Huh. These sound effects are so realistic.
Drakken: We will never have trouble finding a parking space ever again.
Ed: Whoa, dude! There's the wheels. Next to red!
Drakken: I see it, just stop cramping me. Personal space here.
Ron: Uh, KP?
Kim: No. Wait, look. I can make my little guy do a jump kick. Jump, kick. Jump, kick.
Ron: Earth to Kim! Real life calling!
Kim: Game over. Whoa!
Felix: Hang on!
Ed: This is where my magnetic personality takes over. Seriously.
Kim: Gotcha.
Felix: Thanks, Kim.
Ed: A-a-a... A-ah! Good night, Middleton!
Kim: This is low. Even for those two.
Ron: News flash, Kim. They're bad men.
Shego: You actually stole a wheelchair. What's next, candy from a baby?
Drakken: Been there, done that. What? What?!
Ed: Dude, I just noticed, man. You got a little baby mullet back there. Set it free, cousin. Set it free. Dude, that is so righteous.
Shego: Oh, please.
Ed: Ok, time to go repo on this bad boy. Ha ha! Whoa, dude! This chair rocks heavy. Seriously.
Drakken: Cyber-robotic defense system. Aah! What?
Shego: You want some of this? Ow! Get off! Hey!
Ed: This wild beast needs tamin'. Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoa! Whoa!
Drakken: Amazing! I have to know that chair's secret!
Shego: Secret? It's smarter than you.
Ed: Whoa! Whoa! Not the hair! Aah! Nobody messes with the mullet! That's it, wheelie. You're going to the body shop. Seriously.
Drakken: Wait! There's an easier way.
Ed: Easier than a crowbar?
Drakken: This crypto-scanner will tell us all we need to know about our little friend here.
Ed: Oh, man. You're so lucky! Ow! Seriously.
Kim: You getting this, Wade?
Wade: The tracks are still fresh. I should be able to follow the trail by hooking into ultra-telescopic cameras from orbiting satellites.
Ron: You can do that?
Wade: You bet. I can even see the zombie mayhem cheat codes in your back pocket.
Ron: Uh, even a seasoned zombie basher, like myself, needs a little... help. Just don't tell Felix.
Kim: OK, but you have to share.
Ron: Hey, that's why we're friends.
Kim: Yeah. And I'm sorry if I've been acting totally random.
Ron: You mean the jealousy stuff with Felix.
Kim: It's that obvious?
Ron: Kim, you ate all his nacos.
Kim: Oh, right.
Ron: Hey, no damage. We're all buds.
Kim: Go, Wade.
Wade: I've located Drakken. He's holed up in an industrial park just outside of town.
Drakken: It is done!
Ed: Dude, seriously, this is a majorly sweet ride.
Drakken: You've got that right, dude.
Ed: Oh, man, you're so weak. But the mullet mojo's working for you. Seriously. Air guitar will come.
Drakken: Shego!
Shego: Goodie. More car fun.
Drakken: I give you the Doom-V 2.0. Let's ride!
Ed: I'm driving this time, seriously.
Drakken: Wanna bet?
Shego: Ahem.
Drakken and Ed: She's driving.
Kim: Going somewhere?
Felix: You've got something that belongs to me.
Ed: Dude, seriously. What type of secret hideout is this? Everyone knows you live here, man.
Drakken: One magazine subscription, and suddenly, everyone's got your address. Shego!
Shego: Yeah. Yeah, I'm on it. I so hate that.
Kim: I don't think so.
Shego: Aah!
Kim: Aw, man! That's gonna stain!
Felix: Oh, great. There's no way we'll be able to break these.
Ron: No worries. The Rufinator's on the case.
Drakken: Well, we've been waiting.
Shego: Look, I was busy. Ok? So zip it!
Ed: Dude, never get a babe angry when she's driving. You'll only make it worse. Her driving, I mean. Uh-oh. Ow! What'd I say?!
Felix: Oh, it's good to be back.
Kim: They're gonna bolt.
Felix: No problem. I can keep them here!
Kim: Whoa.
Ron: Is that supposed to do that? 'Cause I don't think that's supposed to do that.
Felix: Oh, no.
Kim: Oh, no, what?
Felix: They've adapted my mom's cyber-robotics.
Ron: And this is bad because...
Felix: Trust me, it's bad.
Kim: Then we have to be badder.
Ed: Aw, no way! She took my wheels! That is bogus!
Drakken: As if that's any match for my Doom-V.
Kim: Of course, laser fire.
Ed: Whoa, chill, dude. You almost hit my bike. Seriously.
Drakken: Um, dude? That's the idea!
Kim: Well, this is bad.
Ron: Boo-yah! One for the good guys! Oh. Boo-yah denied.
Ron and Felix: Aah!
Kim: Are you all right?
Felix: A few scratches, but we're fine.
Kim: Hit it!
Ed: Dude, you totally cashed my bike.
Drakken: Now watch as I cash Kim possible once and for all.
Ed: No way! You smashed my bike, so I get to smash Red.
Drakken: I've known her longer than you.
Ed: Dude, come on. Seriously.
Drakken: I'll give you, serious.
Felix: Drakken adapted the cyber-robotics from my chair...
Kim: We could link the two.
Felix: Hey, great minds think alike.
Ron: Yeah! What?
Kim: Crunch time, Wade. Need a cyber link 10 minutes ago.
Wade: I'm in. The robotic signature's the same. Easy hook-up, but you'll need some sort of...
Ron: Controller?
Wade: That'll do.
Drakken: I'm the evil genius, I do the crushing.
Ed: Bogus, dude, seriously.
Shego: Ha! That's it. I'll do it.
Drakken: What did you do?
Shego: N-nothing. It just stopped working.
Kim: How about a little mayhem of my own? This is fun.
Ed: I think I'm gonna barf, man. Seriously.
Ron: Boo-yah reinstated! Game over!
Ms. Lipsky: Oh, no! My little Drewby would never hurt a fly. It's all Eddie's fault, officer. He's a bad seed. Just look at his hairdo.
Drakken: Mother, it's a mullet. Seriously.
Ed: Right on, dude. 'Cause you're ready. Air guitar.
Drakken: Ya-a-a-a-ah!
Felix: Well, Kim, you've got to come with us next week to the ultimate zombie fight tourney. You rule.
Ron: And you said video games weren't your thing. Pshaw!
Kim: Yeah. About that. Look, I won't tell Felix about your cheat codes, as long as you don't tell anyone that I had no idea what I was doing. I just kept hitting buttons.
Ron: Wait, you beat the bad guys by accident?
Kim: Seriously.

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